Monday, September 04, 2006

poke times upgraded

I hate this guy. If he wasn't my friend, I'd punch him in the nose. He has this job, where he meets a lot of people, it also happens to be one of those jobs where a lot of those people are beautiful girls between the ages of 18 and 35. Kinda sweet demographic. And you know how it is. I'd be begging to talk to these girls, given the chance, I'd love to have endless opportunities to get in their pants. If I had just 10 percent of his opportunities.

They even bump into him in foreign countries! With 'Hey! Guy! kiss kiss in that odd cheeky way that only seems normal on televison.

And what does he do with all these wonderful opportunities?

Nothing. Zip. and the rest of that cliche signifying negation with a string of Zees.

Oh, yeah sure, to hear him go on he has a hundred things he can think about doing at any moment that are better than sex. 'But what!?!' I ask him. 'What could be better than sex!?!' and he just shakes his head and looks at the ground and takes another drag off those socially disgusting cigarettes and doesn't bore me with the full recitation as I've heard it before. Make no mistake, there is a list, I have heard it, there are a hundred items on it. Bang! What a muppet.

That little shit, doesn't he think about my morale? I want more and I don't get more. Him? He acts like he wants less! Can you believe it! He isn't even that attractive!

Arrogant prick tried to tell me that reality never lives up to the fantasy, that possibilities are more exciting than acts.

What a load. I mean, can you BELIEVE it? Argghh.


Donna Piranha said...

Does this guy have an exceptionally clean apartment, with lot's of cool decorative touches? Does he iron his clothes and pick them out the night before? My Gaydar is going off.

Bulent Akman said...

clean? yes. Exceptionally clean? That depends on your definition. I guess clean is clean but messy is another story...hey, that's an idea in itself. For the record, This person is a fictional character. Donna is right, his characterisation makes him gay. I was shooting for JGE though (Just Gay Enough - it's a Marian Keyes neologism I think?) I have to skew the character in another direction now. I try different genres and styles every day and yesterday I was trying for a swift v. socrates thing. You know, potatoe famines and babies and dialectics. Because I do in fact believe that trysts in reality are routine affairs (no pun intended) and like a buddy of mine said: 'after the first kiss it's all downhill.' Everyone from Socrates to Plato to Buddha to Jesus to Adam Smith to Siggy Freud to Descates, Hume and Rousseau (Not to mention all the important work of the modern neuroscientist but this was supposed to be a comment not an essay but as I have no time to write a comment we have this reeling spinner...)have developed theories about feelings and experiences and I was trying to squeeze all that insight out and I must have been mentally constirpated that day or something. P.S. I'm incredibly indebted and grateful for Donna's Criticism because she's helped sharpen my craft today. Thanks Donna. Will check your blog again soon.