And then she said it.
"I don't want you in my life anymore."
I couldn't believe it.
Here I was, a high flying sorcerer of prodigious and phenomenal powers, and she was slagging me off? How could this have happened?
"It's not like we have sex anymore," she commented.
"That's because you don't know what the word means!" I retorted.
But who could be blamed? Me, for my anger issues? It's not easy being the chief wizard and guardian of the holy eternal knick-knack. I have pressures on my time that only Hermes himself would understand.
I'm not exaggerating, try telling the gods their mail is late or their mistresses didn't like the flowers they'd sent. I was in a similar pickle.
"We just seem to be going in different directions," she said, sounding genuinely sorry. I wasn't the wizard she thought I was in the end.
Well, can you beat that? After a day fighting the forces of darkness and keeping the reigns tight on the wizarding council would make any man lose his priorities.
But I still loved her, I had to act fast.
"Resigning now is tantamount to treason! We need you Humperlingdichus!" My grand vizier complained loudly, "The armies of Kate are massing at our borders as we speak!" he cried.
Kate was an enemy state that enjoyed conquering new territories and we were number one on its list.
"My mind is made up, call an election, I have to deal with my wife," I was cold, I would not be moved.