Monday, January 15, 2007

dangling earnings nebulosity

Froederick Smith worked in an office. He was conscientious, he was dutiful, he made an effort to do things on time, with purpose.

Froederick toiled. He believed in toiling. Toiling was a good thing. Froederick believed in the work ethic. Even his Puritain neighbour from Pennsylvania admired his work ethic. Froederick toiled to uphold his reputation for diligence. It was hard earned. built up over many years.

Froederick had perfected the art of toiling. He could set his mind to any task and toil away at it. However boring the task might begin, once he got into a task he left a trail of excitment in his wake.

Froederick had a magical power. He could toil away at things with such concentration that in the end even dullards and procrastinators were convinced that Froederick always got the most interesting jobs.

Was it because Froederick put a little of himself in everything he did?
Was it because if anybody works at something long enough, it becomes interesting?
Was it because Froederick had, as some of his collegues suggested, a relative in upper management?
What was it?

Froederick wasn't any help himself, at countless integration meetings and team-building seminars he'd been asked what his secret was, often the person doing the asking was the guru running the seminar. Froederick got embarassed at such questions and found excuses to be elsewhere.

It shouldn't be that difficult, he thought to himself. All he'd ever done is follow one rule and ask two questions. His whole life, this one rule and two questions had been enough to get the ball rolling, to overcome his natural inertia.

Froederick felt the urge to lollygag about the house in bunny slippers and drink refreshingly expensive VSOP Otard Cognac just like anyone else.

But this one rule and two questions got him past the urges:

1. Whatever you don't want to do, do it first!
2. Are you focused?
3. Why don't you try it a different way?

Could it be that easy? It was easier to believe the gossip.

So people kept asking.

One day, Froederick had it, a guru had asked him for the upteenth time about his string of results and Froederick just snapped:

"Arghh!!! I-unleashed-my-synergistic- competencies-through-a-frame-of-congruent-self- representational-timelines-and-stepped-into-my-own-self-actualized-ego-concept-without-hesitation-leveraging-massive-amounts of-total-charismatic-energy-released-by-my unencumbering-of-deep-childhood-repressioons!!!!!!ARghhh!!!!!!!"

You know what? The guru believed him?

It just goes to show, what exactly it showed, Froederick wasn't sure. It sure showed something.

At least no one bothered him again, they were too busy rushing off to improve themselves with SLC (Sociologic Lateral Cogitation) pronounced "Slick."

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