Janus Frill had an odd job, he himself was drearily ordinary, but that job made sure he saw enough to make conversations interesting.
Janus was paid by manufacturers to analyse why, for example, one particular model of meat grinder seemed irresistible to young boys hands and even arms; burning children with powersaws to extricate them from their foolishness with fingers (mostly) intact was not good advertising.
Or why did only certain pool pumps make young boys (nearly always boys) try and sit in them? or worse, play with the intake pipes?
This was his job. He sure could have told some stories. Right now he's in the hospital having sucked on a coke bottle until his tongue got vacuumed up and now he can't get it out.
They'll probably have to break the glass.