Lying under the hot summer sun with rough sketches by the banks of the river Seine and going mad on sunshine and wine, my mind drifts, time eats my memories into dust, I practice the art of forgetting.
I have already forgotten the smell of her, under which eye was the tiny white scar? No doubt she has forgotten me too; yet as I lie here surrounded by a moveable feast, I can imagine better what I first had to forget, because this is a place we shared in time, a place we will always share in time.
In time I will haphazardly forget everything, before that happens I have planned a trip (calling it a journey is pretention) I do not go in search of her, looking for her is the first thing I forgot to do, I do not go in search of myself, because I can always be found wherever I am, I do not go in search of lost time, time can never be lost, it is always in the same place you left it.
I go to build a better fiction, a concordance as my father puts it, coincidences no longer a coincidence.
I will visit the places we shared, I don't know yet if I bring concilliation or the sword, I am building better memories, better than the events they refer to, only the present is unmalleable, the future and the past are both choices.
She made me, now can I make her as well?