Sunday, April 24, 2016

Frank the Good Duck - A bedtime story for my son

Many times, there was a duck named Frank. Frank was a good duck, he did good things. His mother told him to watch his brothers and sisters when she went out looking for food. One day, his brothers and sisters decided to get into some trouble. They went out on their own, over the hills and far away. Frank couldn’t stop them. He decided to go with them to make sure they didn’t get into too much trouble. The first animal the little ducks met was a fox. The fox ate his brothers and sisters. Frank had to trick the fox. He painted some rocks to look like ducks and the silly fox ate those rocks too. This gave the fox a terrible ache and he puked all the ducks out. The ducks were smelly and itchy but they were happy to be alive and Frank took them back to his home pond and washed them off and got them into bed before his mother came home and found out what had happened.When his mother came back, they were all asleep, clean and warm and dry in their beds. Frank was asleep too. He was very tired. Taking care of little ducks that like to get into trouble is difficult work. Frank was good at it but now he had his reward, a good nights sleep. The End.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

[wp] You have invented mind control. Write about some of the positive ways it might be used. by PatriarchalTaxi

The first thing I did when I invented mind control? The answer won't surprise you. My first machine was simple, a used cranial stimulator I bought at auction from a bankrupt medical wholesaler. It came with an odd lot of science stuff including a used air extractor and a bunch of other goodies. I fiddled around with it and after getting some donor parts our of an old gameboy I had my mind control machine. I called it X-1. X-1 worked sporadically and only when my human subject was wearing the device. It looked like a oolander with a chin strap and lots of cables coming out the holes. Not what you'd call fashion-friendly. I tried asking my wife to wear it but have you ever tried getting your wife to wear what looks like a cross between a kitchen accident and a cable monster on her head? I didn't try too hard, that's for sure.

Then it hit me.
\
I put it on myself and ran a simple program I'd complied just for X-1.

10 BUILD A BETTER MIND CONTROL MACHINE
20 GOTO 10 RUN

It's amazing what a super RISC language can do when married to a brain. Speaking of brains, mine is in a jar somewhere. You're listening to a sidelined backup. The last I heard from myself, I was very big and very far away while at the same time being very small and very close. As if I was everywhere in fact.

Sometime/place, at the core of what I still thought of as X-1 (but had as much in common with my kitchen collander as an amoeba with a sperm whale) letters made of fire spelled out words the size of galaxies.

RUNTIME ERROR, (A)BORT? (R)ETRY? (F)AIL?

As a sidelined brain, I strained to choose but before I could I heard a voice and it was not my own.

LET THERE BE LIGHT.